In Mayagüez, nightlife isn’t just an activity, it’s a weekly ritual. Between the group chats lighting up by 7 p.m. and someone yelling “vamo’ pa’ La Neverita,” there’s constant pressure to get up, get ready, and go outside. But every student knows the internal debate that always comes first: do I actually want to go out tonight… or should I stay in bed and avoid the heat, the humidity, and the chaos? Though sometimes we love chaos…
The Mayagüez bar scene is legendary for its energy and unpredictability. La Neverita, Palem, Candela, Tijolos, among others, all bring their own brand of vibe, drama, and the occasional bathroom-line friendship. But they also bring ruined sneakers, drink policies, and emotional whiplash. For many students, the decision to go out or stay in becomes an exhausting cycle of glam and FOMO.
So, in true UPRM fashion, here’s a breakdown of that decision-making process, using the only approach that makes sense at this point: the scientific method. Because when your choices are between a Moscow Mule and sanity, you deserve data.
Observation:
The group chat is on fire. Someone’s already doing their makeup. Someone else is already drinking. Meanwhile, you are wrapped in a towel, lying face down on your bed, contemplating life.
Question:
Is it worth it to go out tonight, knowing full well you’ll sweat through your outfit, ruin your sneakers, and possibly run into at least one person you’ve been avoiding?
Hypothesis:
If you go out, you might end up making bathroom-line besties, breaking your voice at Palem, and having to throw out your new drink at the door of another bar, possibly having the best night of your life. If you stay in, you’ll miss the drama, but keep your shoes, dignity, and peace of mind.
Materials:
- The same top you’ve been using since “Prepa” Week
- Sneakers already stained by spilled Pama and regret
- $10 in ATH Móvil
- Friends texting “ya salí, te busco” without a real plan
- A perfectly good “palo” from a different bar that’s about to be thrown into the trash
- Lip gloss, delusion, and just enough serotonin to consider leaving the house
- Girls in heels who are true warriors and deserve national recognition
Procedure:
- Announce intentions to go out. Immediately lie back down.
- Try on three outfits. End up wearing the first one.
- Mentally commit to “just La Neverita.”
- Walk five blocks. Start sweating by block two.
- Get to Palem. Get stopped. Get told to toss your drink.
- Meet a stranger in the bathroom line. Trauma bond instantly.
- Debate whether to continue to Tijolos and stay in line for eternity or go home.
- Somehow do both.
Data/Trials:
- Trial A: You went to La Neverita. No emotional damage. Moderate heel damage.
- Trial B: You stayed out until 2 a.m. Regretted nothing… until the next morning when you arrived at class with last night’s makeup, or didn’t even make it there.
- Trial C: You stayed in. Did your skincare. Watched a movie. Slept like royalty.
- Trial D: You attempted both. Achieved neither. Confused and dehydrated.
Analysis:
La Neverita will be packed. Palem will be hot. Candela will absolutely make everyone throw away their perfectly good drinks. And you never even went to Tijolos because you lost your buzz waiting in line. The crowds will be full of UPRM students and a concerning number of teenagers pretending to be 18. Meanwhile, your bed remains loyal, comfortable, and emotionally available.
Conclusion:
Going out in Mayagüez is a full-body experience. But unless the night guarantees no drink drama, no ex-flings, and shoes that survive the journey, staying in might just be the smarter option. Because sometimes, self-love looks like skipping the reggaetón and falling asleep to the sound of your AC.
Besides, if going out means having to awkwardly respond to a teenage stranger asking “¿y tú estudias aquí?” while pretending they didn’t just graduate high school last semester — yeah, maybe it’s a night for the bed.
And if you’re wearing heels? You are the moment. However, the rest of us will be cheering you on from our beds, in pajamas, drink-free, and emotionally stable… for now.