When trying to come up with the last thing I would write about here at Her Campus after having a good run for a couple of years, I couldn’t help but go down the cliché route and write a goodbye article. At this point, I just had to. While some may think it’s an easy task, after ransacking my brain for the “perfect words,” a quirky quote, or something that would spark the reader’s interest, I was met with a blank screen before me time and time again. Maybe the difficulty lies not in writer’s block but in the fact that I have so many things, people, and experiences to say farewell to that I just didn’t know where to begin. I didn’t know how to come to terms with it. I realized so much has happened in what seems like so little time.
To start, I feel like I have to go back to where it all began.
I had the privilege of joining this chapter back in 2020. It was a scary time when I had barely turned 18. I knew no one at this big university, and I wanted so desperately to meet new people and make friends, even if it was through a screen. I set shyness aside, put my big girl pants on, got to writing, and submitted my application. And I’m so glad I did. This was the first student organization I joined at UPRRP.
Before I could fully process it, I went from writing about the pandemic to feeling more comfortable writing about my personal experiences. I attended bonding events and met new people. Slowly but surely, I got out of my shell.
About a year later, I was offered the opportunity to be secretary. I was taken aback. People I looked up to were taking me into consideration to be their secretary? Was I ready for that? Did I have what it takes to be in that position? I mean, I was majoring in Biology while all these amazing writers were majoring in Literature, English, or Communications. Was I even a good writer? Thoughts spiraled in my head, and imposter syndrome washed over me. Nonetheless, unlike other times when I would let these thoughts win, my body acted on its own accord, and I saw myself typing out a message agreeing to take up the position.
At first, it was a bit scary. This was my first leadership position at a university level. My organizational skills were challenged; I learned to do many tasks I had no idea how to complete previously. My communication skills had to be developed in a matter of days if I wanted to do well in this role, and surprisingly, I was doing great. With time, I was doing amazing. It felt like that moment when I was just starting to learn how to ride a bike as a kid. Thinking I was bound to fall, once I put my feet on both pedals and started moving them, I realized there was really nothing to be afraid of. Things that once scared me could turn out to be enjoyable, and sooner than later, close to second nature.
That little spark of courage that started flickering at that moment brought me to so many other experiences in my four and a half years in college that kept pushing me out of my comfort zone and forced me to do things even when I wasn’t so sure of what I was doing, even when I was afraid or tired. Like making friends that I now regard as something close to siblings, getting research positions and presenting my findings in international conferences, becoming a tutor for a really hard course, going after other leadership positions, speaking in front of crowds of students, being the first in my family to pursue medicine and fully commit to the application process… Things I never saw myself doing before… Yet, even though I have outgrown the timid and unsure person I used to be, I find myself in the same position as her as I face a new chapter of my life. Come June, I won’t be a college student anymore. I’ll have to sustain myself with a student loan for the most part, get myself a car, and start what is to be the remainder of my life.
It’s true that I chose this route, and the reality of the matter is that I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. But just like any other transition in a person’s life, stepping into bigger shoes you must learn how to fill… it is both exciting and overwhelming. Exciting because I remind myself that through moments like these, I have evolved into the person I am today. It’s overwhelming because I have yet to develop a whole other skill set through years of studying, where nothing is certain, and I’m sure there’ll be moments where I’ll have to prove myself over and over again, not only to higher-ups, but to myself.
On top of that, with leaving behind a place you’ve called your second home, you leave behind the effortless meet-ups with your best friends, the study dates that would inevitably turn into gossip sessions, and the “let’s get lunch” breaks after a long day. You leave behind old routines to go back to the drawing board and make new ones. And you deal with the fact that due to life’s twists and turns, you don’t necessarily keep going down the path with the same people you started it with. Some people take U-turns or take a different route altogether.
Even so, something that I’ll always “keep in my front pocket” for whenever I need it is the fact that no matter what phase of my life I’m at, I won’t walk the path alone. Every other student in my class is doing this for the first time in their life. Wherever I go and whatever I do, I won’t be the only one who is having a first. I’ll be surrounded by others that don’t know what to expect; people who won’t judge and are probably feeling just as helpless and confused. Although it might seem weird to find comfort in knowing that others are struggling as badly as you are, one can’t help but feel a sense of camaraderie. A sense that we’re all simultaneously living in a fragment of what can be considered the “human experience.” This is just a part of life, and like any other major event that serves as a building block of it, it’ll pass.
P.S. I’m still working with the whole “welcoming adulthood” part, with all its ups and downs, but I can feel myself getting better at it. Maybe we’re not meant to face it all headfirst but slowly ease into it. It’s like getting into a pool that’s a bit too cold, so you start by slightly dipping your toes in first to acclimate and adapt to the change in temperature. Maybe that’s all there is to it… Acclimating and adapting.