The days of meeting your college crush in a classroom seem nearly impossible. Now, you’re more likely to slide into their direct messages before you talk to them in real life. Social media has become the backbone of modern online dating.
From Instagram and Snapchat to Tinder and Hinge, we increasingly turn to apps in search of true love. While some of us find success in this digital dating landscape, is it truly the best approach for all college students?
The Good Side of Social Media and Dating
Dating apps and social media apps allow us to connect with people we might never run into on campus or in our classroom. Online dating is beneficial to us because it gives us the opportunity to meet more people than we normally would in a typical 24-hour day.
The communication associated with online dating gives us chances to potentially get to know multiple individuals virtually before we commit to meeting them in person. This type of digital communication offers a safe and convenient way to interact, requiring minimal risk or time investment. As a result, I think it’s safe to say that many of us, specifically women, feel more comfortable exploring connections online before committing to in-person interactions.
I recently sat down with one of my roommates, a third-year Forensic Science major, who jumped on three dating apps right after her boyfriend of two years broke up with her unexpectedly. So far, she’s had some success, she’s met two cool guys, both completely different in looks and communication styles.
But here’s the twist: she’s already way more into the second guy. Why? Because of the way he flirts with her.
In just two dates, he’s already giving her everything she wished for in her last relationship but never got. She never expected to connect with someone so quickly, but his way of communicating makes her feel genuinely heard and valued. It’s a refreshing change that has her excited to see where things go next.
The Downsides of Social Media and Dating
One of the biggest downsides of online dating is the tendency to overanalyze everything. Why did they like my story but not reply to my text? Or that gut-wrenching moment when you see them active on social media but you’re still waiting for a response? These seemingly small moments can quickly stir up intense emotions.
Ghosting is now easier than ever. One click to block, report, and remove someone, and they’re gone forever. It has become the go-to way of saying, “I’m just not that interested,” without the need for any conversation or explanation. While this makes rejection effortless, it also leaves the other person without closure, often leading to confusion and frustration.
I’ve learned the hard way that one of the worst rabbit holes to fall into is stalking someone’s followers. It’s a one-way ticket to comparison and insecurity. Nothing stings quite like seeing your crush follow models, OnlyFans creators, or people who look nothing like you—it’s pure mental exhaustion at its finest.
Dating Rules Have Changed
Dating rules have definitely evolved, but what does that actually look like? The dynamic between DMs and real-life interactions is a whole different game.
Take my roommate, for example: remember the guy she was excited about? He was flirty over text for days, but when they met in person, the vibe was a bit different, less flirtatious and more laid-back. So, was he just all talk, or was he nervous? Only he knows, but it’s clear that some people thrive behind a screen and struggle when it comes to in-person chemistry.
The “Talking Stage” is something our generation knows all too well, leaving everyone wondering, what even is dating anymore? The lines have never been blurrier.
You know that feeling when you want to express something that makes you sad, angry, or uncomfortable, but you’re not sure where you stand? Are we exclusive, or is this still just casual? Personally, I’ve had my share of trauma from the “talking stage,” if you know what I mean.
After all, clarity is key to navigating the modern dating world. For more tips and insights, follow us @HerCampusSJSU!