Searching for a Routine
Like most people I know, adjusting to college was a struggle. It wasn’t the academics that threw me off but rather everything else. Adapting to a new environment was already hard enough, but as an out-of-state student, I was doing so without the support of my family and hometown friends. In hindsight it seems a bit dramatic, but it felt like my entire life had been thrown off course. So, to steady myself, I turned to fitness.
At first, I wasn’t chasing any physical goal, I just needed something to anchor me, so I started with the 12-3-30, the incline treadmill workout that had once taken over TikTok. I liked how the ritual shaped my days and how the slow burn of cardio cleared my mind in ways I hadn’t expected.
A family friend told me I should start lifting because women begin to lose muscle mass at age 30, and it’s better to start now rather than regret it later. I wasn’t particularly drawn to the idea but I tried it anyway. I didn’t see results, but I felt them — the slight burn in my arms and the subtle soreness in my legs were proof of effort, of something shifting. I liked knowing the work was happening, even if I couldn’t see it yet.
As time passed, I grew impatient wondering why the results I was so eager to see weren’t coming to fruition. So, like most students my age would do, I began to peruse TikTok and Instagram, going down rabbit holes of “lean girl workouts” and “abs in two weeks guides,” watching people with the kind of bodies I had been socially trained to admire.
Then, the content I consumed wasn’t just workout routines but also “what I eat in a day” videos, protein intake breakdowns and meal plans that looked less like food and more like math. Although the fitness and food routines varied, the message was always “Do this and you’ll look like me.”
Soon enough, I realized these videos weren’t just routines but rather ways to sell an ideal, a promise that if I simply followed the steps, I could get closer to something better.
The Influence of the “Dream Body”
It’s strange how workouts aren’t just about fitness anymore but also aesthetics, looking a certain way and fitting the image of whatever body type is trending. We don’t just look for routines, we look for people to follow. The people with the soft, effortless pilates body, the lean and toned people who swear by “fasted cardio” or the people posting their meal plans (earning commission on each food product advertised) who tell you exactly how to replicate their look.
We become so fixated on the promises these influencers offer that we forget the basics of internet safety we learned in elementary school: Not everything you see online is true. Take what happened on Jan. 19, 2025, when Tiktok was temporarily banned in the U.S. Suddenly, fitness influencers started admitting to faking their workouts, proving just how unrealistic the expectations they set really are. The workouts, the people viewers desperately try to copy, aren’t even real.
Some workouts, however, are real. Take Hailey Fernandez who made the StairMaster a staple in many people’s routines. While she’s a genuinely great fitness influencer, what is often overlooked is how her physique resulted from years of consistent training and genetics; it’s not something you can replicate in a few months. No amount of workout sessions will fast-track you to Fernandez’s body type.
It’s good to have role models but most people take it further than that, becoming an aspiration disguised as a discipline. It’s why people don’t just follow workouts, they chase bodies, seeing someone who looks the way they want to appear and assuming their routine must be the secret. We copy their movements, meals and timing yet, somehow, we never quite get there.
But the thing is, we won’t get there.
Not because we’re not working hard enough, not putting the time in, not being consistent or doing this whole fitness thing wrong, but simply because that’s not how bodies work.
The same workout will look different on different people. A hundred invisible factors shape us that no routine can override, including genetics, diet, muscle composition and bone structure.
And yet, we convince ourselves that if we try harder, put in a little more time or amp up the routine, we’ll close the gap. It’s easy to become frustrated, burned out or resentful from working out. However, we don’t realize that we were never meant to look like them in the first place.
Even worse, the influencers we model ourselves after often aren’t just products of their workouts. Some have been athletes their whole lives, others have trainers, money and time and some have had surgeries or enhancements they don’t disclose. But in a 60-second TikTok, all of that disappears. What’s left is a promise that if we follow this routine, we’ll get there too.
Doing What’s Best for You
So what do we do instead? We shift the focus, stop chasing a body and start chasing the feelings of strength, endurance and energy. We find workouts we enjoy, ones that fit into our lives instead of taking over them. We train for how we want to feel, not how we want to look.
Personally, that meant letting go of the idea that my workouts had to lead to a specific physique. It meant moving in ways that made me feel good, challenging myself without punishment and recognizing that no two bodies will ever respond the same way. I still do 12-3-30, and not because I think it’ll give me a particular shape but because I like it since it clears my mind and reminds me of why I started working out in the first place.
And maybe that’s enough. The real reward isn’t in the body we’re trying to create but in how we feel after each workout: sharper, lighter and more present in our lives. So, instead of obsessing over how we look, let’s shift our focus to how we feel.
Pay attention to how your energy shifts, your mind clears or your body feels a little more balanced after a workout. If you’re frustrated by the process, take a step back and remember that it’s about progress, not perfection.
Find what works for you whether that’s a morning jog, a calming yoga flow or lifting weights with a friend. Whatever helps you feel like the best version of yourself is the perfect fitness routine for you.