I was a victim of the TikTok deletion. When I opened the app on the night of January 19th and saw the notification that TikTok was officially unavailable, I immediately deleted the app, as was the case for many others. Why would I want an app that no longer worked, taking up space on my phone? Little did I know that the next morning, I would begin to see many posts that the app was working again, and of course, when I went to the app store to re-download it, I could not. This is what began my almost month-long hiatus from TikTok.
For the first few days of not having the app, I found myself in a scrolling withdrawal. I would go back and forth between YouTube Shorts and Instagram Reels, searching for the same satisfaction I got from my once perfectly-curated For You page. I felt lost, which also caused me to realize I was way more addicted to the app than I had previously thought.
I also began to feel a bit out of the loop. My friends who waited out the ban and didn’t delete the app started quoting trends and making jokes that I was missing. I no longer understood all of the “brain-rotted” humor I had come to enjoy so much.
As my hiatus continued, though, I did begin to get used to not seeing the little music note application on my phone. I also found myself less eager to scroll on any apps. Now, when I was picking up my phone, it was to respond to texts, check my email, and watch a YouTube video that was way longer than the short-form content I had gotten so used to. I felt I was becoming less attached to my phone in general, my screen time going down, and getting my work done way faster, because there were less options for procrastination. Although I was becoming less connected with viral internet culture, I was becoming more connected to the world and people around me. I could no longer pick up the phone for a few minutes scrolling, which would turn into hours of disengagement with the rest of the world.
With all of this said, I have to admit that the second I found out that the app was once again available to download, I did so right away. I was thrilled when I saw my friend’s post that it was back, and I was excited to be back in the loop.
I opened the app full of glee; I was ready to scroll for hours catching up on the part of life I was missing, and to be truthful, for a couple minutes of scrolling, I thought I was sucked back in. However, after watching some pretty entertaining videos, I realized I didn’t feel like scrolling anymore. I was bored or not as willing to continue searching for a video I thought would be amazing. So, I exited the app and returned to the real world.
Now, I have not gone as far as to delete TikTok again. I still open it occasionally and watch the videos my friends send me, but once I watch those videos, I am pleased with what I have watched, but I am not craving it anymore. So, did I miss TikTok? The answer is yes, but a few weeks without it did not ruin my connection to the rest of the world, but it actually helped it. If you’re feeling up to it, a few days or even a couple hours without the app could give you that connection you’re missing and help you realize that the world keeps spinning without TikTok.