Valentine’s Day is my absolute favorite holiday.
Yes, you heard me right. I am chronically single, and Valentine’s Day is my absolute favorite holiday.
Don’t get me wrong: sometimes there’s a ping in my chest where Cupid should be shooting his arrows when I’m caught alone in the chocolate aisle at CVS, or when I scroll through my Netflix suggested page and am greeted with rom-com after rom-com. It’s not enough to deter me, though. No ex-boyfriend is getting a “happy v-day, wish u were with me” text from me. And hopefully not from you, either (even if it’s ‘for the plot’). This Valentine’s Day, we’re practicing self love.
Yes, it’s easy to get caught in the cycle. I’m single on Valentine’s Day, so I should be sad. But that is so not the case. Societally, we are expected to feed into this stigma that the holiday of love should be reserved solely for romance. Wear the pink sweater and buy the specialty latte, because we’re throwing it back to before Valentine’s was for roses and chocolate.
Who is saint valentine, and is he single?
Ok, ok, let’s go back to the basics. Spotlight on the Middle Ages, where Hinge doesn’t exist and men didn’t know what a pink drink with sweet cream cold foam is. St. Valentine was a guy from Rome who, according to Catholic and Roman tradition, was an all-around Good Guy who let his voice be heard. Think Noah Calhoun – steadfast, manly, and writes damn good letters.
St. Valentine protested the new law that men were not to be wed (because old Emperor Claudius said it made them bad soldiers. Men used to go to war…) and would secretly arrange marriages for young adults who couldn’t get married. And – get this – this was before you could become an officiant online. Ok, Valentine, put in the work!
Anyway, the Emperor Claudius was not happy about this. At all. He found St. Valentine and threw him in jail to be executed.
But that jail was where the magic happened. Emperor Claudius had a daughter, and St. Valentine was in love. He met with her secretly (some Folklore clandestine meetings, if you will) and before his execution, he wrote her a beautiful letter, signed From: your Valentine.
Allie and Noah before The Notebook. Wow. Till death do us part.
Is cupid really stupid, then?
Well, I’m not sure he would like being called that, but I understand the sentiment. So, Cupid’s origin story is pretty similar. He is considered the Roman god of love and lust, and started off as a winged baby. Over the years, though, he’s transformed into a culturally chubby Valentine’s legend, bow and arrow in hand.
But in regards to his relevance to Valentine’s Day, his entire existence is a metaphor. Get this: Cupid is winged because lovers are flighty, and he is a little boy because love is irrational.
Yep. That leads us to our next point..
Celebrating v-day on your own
Yes, it sounds daunting. Yes, it sounds extreme. But on a day all about love, why shouldn’t we celebrate the strongest love of all: self love!
Statistics show that 32 percent of women don’t make time for self care. Well, lucky for us, Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday. We got all night, baby.
If you’re a homebody, pop a bottle of wine and put on your favorite early-2000s rom-com. If you’re a night owl, head out to the city with your girls and take turns buying a round. If you’re recently single, celebrate, baby. Put on your favorite outfit and buy yourself the flowers that your ex never got you.
Remember that you are your own secret admirer. After all, Valentine’s Day is just another holiday companies profit off of selling us flowers and chocolates and gifts and conversation hearts and lingerie. Personally, I’m one to buy into the holiday propaganda and treat myself, but if your Friday night is more of an at-home spa night, it all does the same thing.
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate you. Reach out to your parents, siblings, friends: anyone and everyone you love. After all, we have 365 days a year to love these people, but some need to hear it on one most of all.
So, the consensus is…
As a self-proclaimed single relationship guru, I know best of all that February 14th can feel lonely. And that’s totally normal. Maybe you saw the person you were too scared to shoot your shot with, or maybe your ex posted their new girl. Feeling your emotions is healthy. It’s how we react that matters.
Cope with this day however you seem fit. Like I mentioned, you can go in so many directions with a V-Day celebration. Just remember, if you find yourself in a bit of a slump, loving yourself can be the greatest gift.
And – don’t text your ex.