Throughout my childhood, I was an avid bookworm. You wouldn’t have caught me without a book, and I even signed up to compete in a reading competition. That being said, when you read so many books at once, sometimes their impact gets lost. Unfortunately, one of those books for me was “Turtles All the Way Down” by John Green.
I was out with a friend when something told me I needed to pick the book up and read it again. Green’s other novel, “Looking for Alaska,” had a profound effect on me—and this one hit me just as hard.
The book follows Aza, a high school junior diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Her journey with mental health intertwines with her friendship with Daisy as they investigate the disappearance of billionaire Russell Pickett. Along the way, Aza also reconnects with Davis Pickett, Russell’s son and her childhood friend, and their relationship begins to grow.
Something that stood out to me as I read was the characters. No one is a clear good or bad guy—they’re just human. It was easy to have empathy for each of them, and no one overpowered the others. Their conflict felt natural, and the dialogue didn’t feel like an adult trying to imitate teenagers. It felt authentic. They did things real teens would do, like go to Applebee’s and meet in their cars before school. Many authors struggle to capture the voice of teenagers, but Green gets it right.
It is incredibly difficult to write an accurate portrayal of OCD or any mental illness. OCD goes far beyond keeping things clean or washing your hands repeatedly. Most media portrayals I’ve seen focus on the compulsive behaviors without exploring the internal thought spirals that fuel them. Green dives deep into Aza’s mind, and as someone who lives with OCD, I found it cathartic to read.
In an interview with NOCD, an organization dedicated to OCD awareness and treatment, Green shared that the book was “a challenge to write.” He used his own experiences and deep-seated fears to shape Aza, making her voice raw, realistic and refreshingly unfiltered.
This is not your typical love story. While there is a romantic element, it’s not the center of the story. If anything, it’s used to further explore Aza’s anxiety and fears. Her biggest fear centers on bacteria and contamination—she does everything in her power to avoid contracting diseases she logically knows she won’t get, but the thoughts plague her anyway.
Beyond the internal experience of the disorder, the novel also touches on how OCD affects Aza’s relationships—platonic, familial and romantic. Her internal battles have unintended effects on the people around her. But because of the excellent writing, you can’t hate her for it. This book forced me to reflect on how my own struggles with OCD have affected the people in my life. I found myself getting emotional when I realized how far I’ve come in my own journey.
Much like the main character, I often feel caught in my own spiral patterns throughout the day. But with time, support and the right resources, I’ve learned how to coexist with my OCD in ways I never thought were possible. I still have tough moments, but I also have a deeper understanding of myself and what I need to feel safe and steady.
The first time I read “Turtles All the Way Down,” I sped through it. I didn’t fully absorb what I was reading—maybe because I wasn’t ready to. But this second time was different. Every word hit me harder, like it was holding up a mirror. It felt like a callout in the gentlest, most compassionate way. There were moments where I paused, realizing I’d done or thought the exact same thing as Aza. It made me feel less alone—and more importantly, it made me feel understood.
One passage that especially stuck with me was when Aza said: “Your now is not your forever.” That line has stayed with me since closing the book. It’s simple, but it reminds me that the hard moments—whether they’re intrusive thoughts, spirals or setbacks—don’t last forever. They’re part of the ride, but they’re not the whole story.
I would recommend this book to everyone, whether you live with OCD or not. “Turtles All the Way Down” is more than just a good story—it’s a window into a world that’s rarely shown with this much nuance, care and honesty. Healing isn’t linear, love doesn’t fix everything and sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is keep going anyway.
Because sometimes, the most important stories aren’t the ones we escape into—but the ones that meet us where we are.