Sometimes it feels like when I open social media all I see is: “Get ready with me to go out!” or: “Finally letting loose after a hard week.” As someone who prefers to stay home rather than going out, these posts have never been super relatable to me but I thought that this meant I was doing something wrong.
How do you survive the constant demands of college socialization? If you are like me, the battle between wanting to stay in and wanting to go out to satisfy your friends is constant. If going out is your thing, that’s great! If it’s not, then you are in the same boat as me. Here are some things that have helped me navigate the college social scene!
Identifying peer pressure
First, we need to be able to identify peer pressure. Real life peer pressure may look drastically different than in movies or TV shows. No one is going to laugh in your face if you deny a drink. In my personal experience, much of the perceived peer pressure I have encountered was just my brain trying to convince me that I was disappointing the people around me. After having conversations with those around me, I realized that they do not think less of me because I prefer to stay in. This realization was the first step to overcoming peer pressure in my experience.
What do you enjoy?
Another important part of dealing with peer pressure is knowing yourself and the things you enjoy. If you know what you like to do, you also probably know what you don’t like to do. Often it is easy to mistake things that your friends like to do with things that you like to do. If I am ever pressured to do something, I take a step back and try to imagine if I would actually enjoy doing it. If the answer is no then that activity probably isn’t for you. It is okay to not like things that your friends like!
It’s okay to try new things!
Peer pressure is not always a bad thing. If your friends are trying to get you to do something you have never done before and you are curious, then try it! College is a time to try new things and figure out who you are. It is better to try something new and not like it than to never try it and regret it.
hold strong boundaries
After recognizing that you don’t want to do something, firm boundaries are the next important step. If someone asks you to do something that you do not want to do then firmly say no, while still being considerate of their feelings. If you give an unsure answer, they are more likely to ask again and again, to try and persuade you. Learning to say no is a life skill that took me a while to perfect. Saying no does not mean you are the bad guy. Saying no is not mean. Standing up for yourself is important.
take care of yourself
When we talk about self-care, physical things are often the first thing that comes to mind. However, mental self-care is just as important. Saying no to things you do not want to do is self-care. Doing these things can help you grow as a person and get to know yourself. Also, allow yourself to stay behind when your friends go out to recharge when you need it.
open conversations
Being a homebody in a friend group that loves to go out, and vice versa, can feel pretty isolating, especially if they are constantly trying to get you to do things you do not enjoy. Instead of keeping these feelings to yourself, talk with your friends about it. Nobody wants their friend to feel like that. These conversations can go a long way in avoiding peer pressure and increasing understanding. No matter what issues your friendships may be facing, conversation is always a safe bet to resolve them. Your friends are probably unaware that what they are doing could make you feel bad.
College can be a weird time. It is totally okay to use this time to figure out who you are and what you like. If you love to go out then do it! If you don’t, then find out what you do love. No judgement here either way.