And no, this isn’t just about dating.
What happened with the Rebel Kid?
Before I get into the what and how of the male loneliness epidemic, let’s talk abot what every girl on social media in India has seen this past weekend: the absolute sleuth of filth that Apoorva Makhija, also known as the Rebel Kid, received in her comment section after the incident on the YouTube show “India’s Got Latent” went viral. We know the one—where she, as the only female judge, defended a woman in the audience from the blatantly misogynistic comments made by a male contestant. She not only called him out for his tasteless taunts but gave him a taste of his own medicine. And what a clap back it was.
However, instead of going viral for her wit or for putting someone in their place for an uncalled-for attitude, she was bombarded with slurs, violently misogynistic rape threats, and creatively cruel abuse from angry, insecure men. Her DMs and comments became a dump yard for the worst parts of the internet, words I won’t be repeating here. And for what? Her response wasn’t some sweeping generalisation about men overall—it was directed at one man saying something out of line. So why were thousands of others suddenly so offended, so violently enraged?
But why?—The silent epidemic
To understand this, let’s zoom out a bit and try to understand something that isn’t outwardly visible and yet omnipresent and equally dangerous: the growing epidemic of male loneliness. More and more men have been reporting feeling emotionally isolated. They feel like they don’t have real friendships, someone to open up to and be real with. The rise of depression in young men and the surge in the male suicide rates can be attributed to be a direct consequence of this. But this fallout isn’t just affecting men, it’s hitting women too—both in our romantic relationships but especially outside of them, in our everyday lives.
How is It affecting women?
When men don’t have emotional support systems, even deep into their adulthood—friends they can be vulnerable with, family they can talk to—they project these unmet needs onto women. Their romantic partner suddenly becomes their everything. Girlfriend. Therapist. Mom. Cheerleader. Sometimes even an emotional punching bag. The result? It doesn’t create healthy intimacy; women in relationships frequently find themselves carrying the weight of not just their own emotional needs, but also those of their partners. That’s a lot for one person, and she didn’t sign up for this. It’s not intimacy—it’s imbalance.
And when women don’t play along, flatter, coddle or stay silent? These men lash out. This is because deep down, so many of them don’t actually see women as full people—as whole, autonomous beings with the same kind of inner lives. Instead, women are seen as mirrors for their self-worth or trophies they need to win for approval from other men. Deep down, many men crave male validation more than anything else.
Circling back to the Rebel Kid
The Rebel Kid wasn’t speaking to or about them, but they took it personally. Why? Because they projected themselves onto the guy being called out. Instead of just listening to what was actually being said in an unbiased manner; they reacted to what they felt was an attack on their ego. That’s what happens when your sense of identity is so fragile, and your self-worth is so dependent on how women perceive you, that even watching a woman stand up for herself feels like a personal insult. And let’s not ignore the double standard. Her clapback was smart, bold, and honestly? If a man had said the exact same thing, he probably would’ve been dapped up and patted on the back, and we would have then seen several Instagram edits of his “+1000 aura” on Phonk and Desi Hip-Hop beats. But simply because she’s a woman, her assertiveness was seen as arrogance, her words as disrespect, and her existence as an offence. The backlash wasn’t just disproportionate—it was designed to silence her. To punish her for daring to speak.
This ties back to the point that these men put the opinion of other men on a pedestal. They want to be seen, admired, and respected by other men. The irony and hypocrisy is almost funny—they don’t form real, human-to-human emotional bonds with those same men. They won’t talk about their feelings, fears, or dreams. Vulnerability is still seen as weakness. It shouldn’t be controversial to say that men need friends. Real friends. Not just people to game with or grab drinks with, but people they can actually talk to. People they can cry with, be vulnerable around, and be human with. But building those kinds of connections requires them to challenge their long-held ideas about masculinity—like the one that says emotions are a weakness or that needing others is unmanly.
So instead, they turn to women to fulfill emotional roles they can’t access through their male friendships—but without ever truly seeing women as actual people or as friends or as equals. This lack of recognition is part of what fuels the loneliness epidemic in the first place.
Fixing this cycle
This is the sad part because women are often the ones trying to help. In relationships, in friendships, at work places, or in their families—they’re doing the emotional labor, the chore of offering support and creating space. But they’re exhausted. They’re not just helping, but they’re holding up an entire emotional ecosystem that was never going to recognise their effort or support them back. It’s just an unfair expectation. So no, this epidemic isn’t just about men being lonely. It’s about how this loneliness and repressed emotions—when mixed with ego, entitlement, and unaddressed misogyny—start hurting us women. Women like Apoorva, who simply had a backbone and a voice, and paid the price for both.
We need to start telling the truth: emotional repression isn’t strength. It’s not “manly” to suffer in silence or lash out in rage. While it’s a start, it’s not enough to tell men to “go to therapy” or “talk to their bros” if we want to fix this epidemic. We need a cultural shift in how we raise boys, how we phrase our everyday words: in how we define masculinity and how we value emotional connection, Not just for men, but for the women who are tired of being collateral damage.
Women shouldn’t have to pay the price for a world that doesn’t let men feel.