Craziest Things I’ve Heard on Campus…

College campuses are a crazy place. You get to meet new people, pursue new interests, and learn so many new things. As a first semester freshman adapting to campus life you have a different perception of campus before adjusting. You notice and hear things differently than your older peers. At least that’s how I felt, and so did my friends. Instead of ignoring this observation we decided to write down the most crazy and random things we’ve heard on campus with no context and share them for your enjoyment. So, without further ado, here is the condensed version of this list:

• I’m a borderline single father 
• Should I just go bald
• What if I swing my thing at your thing 
• I didn’t say I hope you fall I said you will fall 
• It’s pretty long, the textures a little weird 
• If you’re fat then I’m obese 
• You never listen to anybody else…, Yeah I know, I’m Italian
• *Fake Country Accent* Ain’t got no daddy he in jail
• Don’t bring coffee beans everyone’s going to laugh at you
• It’s falling into my boobs, and I don’t like it
• That was worse than 9/11
• The only time this many people saw me, I was wearing a Speedo
• She swallowed a textbook! 
• Do you know “It’s Everyday Bro” by Jake Paul?
• I made insane eye contact with Chris the other day 
• F*** you Lenny!…, Mommy and daddy are fighting
• Yeah like he just experimented on us without telling us
• Evan is the G bro
• The Hooters of the sky…
• He’s got his therapist cardigan on today
• What’s 3 divided by 60. That’s 33 minutes 
• The bathrooms are too far so sometimes I just piss out the window
• You can contact a sperm bank… or the local hospital
• We made a list of the ones that will get you the most drunk
• Idk what was happening. No one was in the basement. 
• If it grows tall it falls easy 
• Someone tried to fight you…, Yeah, this skinny kid and these two fat kids
• And I go upstairs and your on the couch with a trash bag over your head

• bentley
• Bentley University
• college
• entertainment
• fun
• spicy
• university